Aloha!

So it's been a while eh?! I dropped off the face of the blogging planet just to come back with some fully interesting times. Here's the scoop: I've spent roughly a little over a year in Hawaii. In 2008 I graduated from Bowness High and I am now attending BYU Hawaii. This is my fourth semester here and believe it or not I'm done.
My first semester here was awesome, the second one was a little harder and last semester was really difficult at times. It's not that I don't like Hawaii, it's just that our relationship has hit a rough patch. We're working on things together and so far so good.
This brings me to the next phase of my blog. The first part is mostly my trip to Spain and my experience there. Now I will be writing about my experience in Hawaii, it will be honest, from the heart, and revealing...

Winter semester 2010! I can do this! Right?
This semester started off so "good", I guess... I thought. Now I have no money, and I'm short a few school books I need right now. As stressful as it is, I guess I can look at it as a some what adventure. I think I found one of my books in the library... I guess we'll find out soon enough.
The first week of classes brought on an Eddie Aikau wave of "what am I doing with my life!?!" So naturally I prepared to pack up and leave. As much as I am living in "paradise" I don't know how much longer I will survive out here. It is odd to notice how much pride I have. I'm scared of what people will think if I drop out, or if I don't decided to graduate from BYUH but somewhere else. I want to stay here longer because I want to be "grown-up". It seems like the more I try to be grown up the deeper I dig myself into a hole. I think the key is to stop trying, just to be. Be in the moment, be in life, let yourself experience it. I can't do that, i have to plan and replan or I feel uneasy, close to crying sometimes. If something in my schedule changes I have to write the new schedule right away and go over and over it in my head and then tell someone else.
I've been crazy over analyzing everything, just like back in junior high. HOWEVER, I will be hanging out with friends this weekend. There is a movie we're going to go see, and I think there is a wedding on Saturday and Cody and I are going to go try to be extras for a movie. I'm going to audition for PCC, there is a dinner on Saturday and Abe and I are gonna make cookies... someday. :P
But at the same time all this super stresses me out. I'm nervous that I won't get to said places in time. And I don't have any money...
I don't know what to do :)
Friday is my deadline... it's the day I decide whether I am going or staying.
Friday is also my dad's BIRTHDAY!!! :D

Other than not knowing what I'm going to do about anything, freaking out about everything and wanting to cry every second of everyday... I'm up to the usual college stuffs
cooking...
wearing hair...
doing "homework"...
the usual...
I have so much more to tell, but I'll have to call it quits for now.
Until next time... eat a cookie!